Friday, September 01, 2006

my first adventure game

I posted this on the Adventure Gamers forums recently. I thought it was a good story and decided to put it here as well.

My first adventure game was, interestingly, the first text adventure game called "Adventure". I was around 11 or 12 (and didn't know English very well, having just moved to the US) and played around with my aunt's computer whenever I went to her place. For some reason this game was on her computer, and I started playing it after I got tired of solitare. I was an avid Nintendo gamer at the time, and the text game really perplexed me. I kept hoping it would show me some new pictures if I went far enough into the game (I remeber it had a single still picture in a corner with directional buttons next to it). Alas, it never did. It took me several visits before I figured out how to open the grate and go inside the cave, and I never got past the green serpent. However, since I'd never played a text game before, I was rather fascinated by the way the game responded to my actions.

Years later, when I took a game design class, they covered the history of video games. That's when I realized "Adventure" was the same game I played all those years ago. I didn't really get into the genre (or realized what the genre was) until years later though.

Friday, July 07, 2006

new glasses!

If I hadn’t mentioned it before, I’ve been doing vision exercises using The Program for Better Vision as well as other books to improve my nearsightedness. I actually came across these concepts back in college, when I saw a class in the Learning Annex catalog which said that vision is 90% mental and 10% physical, and you can learn how to improve your vision by taking this class. I was a bit skeptical, since I’d never heard of anything like this, but for 35 bucks it was too promising not to check it out. The class was taught by a woman named Gloria Ginn who teaches a program called the School for Better Eyesight in LA, and it’s based on the Bates Method developed by Dr. Bates in the 1920’s but never was accepted in mainstream optometry (for obvious reasons – why cure people of myopia or presbyopia or astigmatism when you can sell them glasses the rest of their lives?). The Learning Annex class I attended was more of an introduction for her own classes and private sessions, but I came away with some useful exercises and a new paradigm about vision. The classes themselves were too expensive for me to afford at the time though.

So after that class I did the eye exercises for a while, but not having a structured program I soon gave up it for the time being. I never forgot about the concepts though, it was just on the back burner. Last June I started a vision program from a book I got online (one of many if you do a search on Amazon). I saw a slight improvement, but after 2 months I didn’t improve any further. Since Rocky and I were leaving for India in August, I stopped doing the exercises shortly before we left since I was so busy with preparations. Now that I think about it, I may have stopped improving because I was close to seeing 20/20 on my contacts and didn’t realize it. After we came back from India, my vision was noticeably worse. I don’t know if it was all the reading and gaming I did on my GBA (half the time Rocky was busy catching up with his family and had to leave me sitting alone in the living room), but I didn’t continue doing the eye exercises again.

I started this most recent program around late February, after I got my last eye exam and had to increase my glasses prescription to about -5.50 in one eye and -6.00 in the other. At that time I switched from wearing contacts full time to wearing glasses full time, remembering that all the vision books I’ve read recommended wearing glasses instead of contacts, since they’re easier to take off. The reasoning is that many of the exercises need to be done without glasses or contacts, and it’s good to keep them off whenever you don’t need them so your eyes can adjust to your natural vision. I also started wearing my older pair of glasses (which had the same strength as my contacts) so that my eyes have room to improve. Since I wear glasses all day, my eyes would not improve past the point where I’m seeing 20/20 in my glasses.

This program has a basic 8-week program with an advanced section for continuing the program past the 8 weeks. So here I was thinking I would see significant improvement in 8 weeks – which I didn’t. Or rather thought I didn’t. It did improve a little perhaps the first month or so, and then held pretty steady. I emailed the author’s office, which provides free email support, and they said that it may take a while since I have such a strong prescription. They couldn’t tell me how long it would take, since everyone is different.

At this point I was pretty disappointed, but I kept going because I couldn’t let my vision get worse and worse, because I was sick of my lack of commitment to myself, and because I hated my glasses. To keep myself doing the program, I wrote affirmation on an index card, which basically said I would do vision exercises 6 days a week (Mon-Sat), and how I would feel about doing it. This I read out loud everyday. I did my exercises every morning after I woke up, even when I didn’t feel like it. Sometimes I missed a Saturday every other week, but it wasn’t a big deal. Even though I didn’t feel like I was still improving, I kept it up for another month past the 8-week program.

My “breakthrough” came when I got a new book on vision improvement called Take Off Your Glasses and See by Jacob Liberman. It had great reviews on Amazon, so I decided to check it out. It included an eye chart, which for kicks I photocopied out of the book and taped together. I taped it up in my room and measured ten feet, which is where you can see the smallest letters if your vision is 20/20. I couldn’t see even the larges letter at that distance, so I had to step forward until I could. Supposedly I could roughly measure my sight by calculating my distance from the chart in order to see the largest letter, but I was too lazy to bother. Instead I put on my glasses and stood at the ten-foot distance to see how much I can see. To my surprise, I was seeing the 20/25 line very clearly and can make out a few of the letters at 20/20. That was my first clue that maybe my vision stopped improving because I was seeing nearly 20/20 in my glasses.

Before I talk about the results of my eye exam this past Saturday, I just have to mention how awesome this new book was. It’s different from my previous programs because it has a much more holistic approach. Rather than give me more eye exercises (which it did a little), the book taught about relaxing your eyes, using your peripheral vision in an “open focus” (as opposed to narrow focus or staring), and releasing pent-up emotions. It emphasizes that most people first start needing glasses a year or so after an upsetting childhood (or even adulthood) experience which causes them not want to see what is happening. It could be something traumatic or even relatively insignificant like having to move and change schools. This book also emphasized the importance of keeping your glasses off unless you really needed it. The weekend after I started reading this book, we took a weekend trip to Yosemite. Since I didn’t have to drive, I was able to keep my glasses off for most of the weekend, putting it on only in short spurts when eating or when I needed to see a sign or the scenery or something. I’m sure it also helped that I was in the midst of nature all weekend long. When I came home, I checked my eyesight that very night, and on the same chart I was able to see the 20/20 line quite easily, as well as most of the letters on the 20/15 line.

So, last Saturday I had my eyes checked with a behavioral optometrist in my area. Unlike regular optometrists, behavioral optometrists know how to use vision exercises to correct vision problems, and I went to one because they’re more willing to prescribe under-corrected lenses (which are needed to give my eyes room for more improvement) than regular optometrists. I had never been so excited about getting an eye exam! She determined that I was seeing 20/20 in my left eye and 20/30 in my right, and prescribed new glasses so that I can see at 20/40, which is the legal limit for driving (don’t tell anyone, but I’ve driven to and from work with my glasses off almost the entire way a few times. Under bright sunlight and in a traffic jam, I can drive fine even with my bad eyesight). So my new glasses which I’ll pick up this weekend are -5.25 in the right eye and -5.00 in the left, and I’m getting another pair of weaker glasses for reading/computer work at -4.25 right eye and -4.00 left eye. The exam and two new pairs of glasses burned a giant hole in my pocket, since my insurance doesn’t cover it. It’s worth it though, and a few months down the road I’ll only need to check on my progress and get new lenses for the frames I already have. I’m picking up my new glasses tomorrow, and I’ve never been more committed to doing the exercises. It is absolutely exciting to see results from something you’ve worked on for months. You bet I’m keeping it up until I get back to 20/20 again.

Monday, June 26, 2006

quote of the day

"Religion is not man's relationship to God, it is man's relationship to man."

- Elie Wiesel

Jewish novelist, philosopher, humanitarian, political activist
Holocaust survivor
Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, 1986
Interview with United Press International
June 21, 2006

Friday, June 23, 2006

i have curly hair!

I got my hair permed last Saturday at the Korean salon in downtown where I usually get my hair done. The week before, I decided that I needed a haircut, and I thought, why not get it curled since I've never done it? It came out really nice and was a unanimous hit with my family and co-workers. I did have to go out and get some hair care stuff and put mouse on my hair every morning, otherwise it gets a frizzy and poofs up like crazy.

I also ran into some curly-hair issues that naturally curly-haired people probably deal with, which I have never even thought about. I cannot brush my hair once it starts drying after I wash it, otherwise it becomes a flying mess (imagine each hair curling by itself and not aligned with any other hair). I tried it once before washing my hair, and that's what it looked like.

I'll post pictures some time when I get a chance to take them.

Friday, May 26, 2006

a harrowing experience

I had my Amazon purchase stolen on Tuesday. It was a $100 Invicta pilot watch I was buying on behalf of Rocky, my boyfriend, because he doesn't like to use credit cards. I was having it delivered to my office building, thinking it would be safer because I can get it right away. Later I realized that since I used free saver shipping, it was being delivered by USPS to the mailbox downstairs rather than directly to our office like DHL/Fedex/UPS does. However I didn't think too much about it.

So come Tuesday, I didn't get a package after our receptionist picked up the mail from downstairs. I asked her if she saw any packages, and she didn't. I checked the tracking info, and it said that the package was delivered that morning at 10 a.m. Okay, now I was worried. I went downstairs with the receptionist, and we found an Amazon box with my name on it by the trashcan outside the mail room. It was opened and the contents were gone. There were parking attendants and an occasional security guard walking around the area, but no one saw anything. I had to stay after work (this was around 6 pm) for 20 minutes so the security guard lady could fill out a report for building management. I was so upset I could hardly keep from crying while she was filling out the report. Rocky was not so upset about the lost money but more disturbed by what kind of person who could've opened someone else's package and taken what was in it. I was upset about the money, but I kept remembering something Michael (or perhaps it was another book) said, that whatever is stolen from you (money or whatever) wants to return to you, since it is still your part of your energy (and everything is energy). My understanding is that this energy can return to you in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't necessarily mean that the thief will return the watch to me. Anyway, I took comfort in the fact that $100 is really not that much money, and it wouldn't even matter that much a few months down the road.

Anyway, that night I went home and emailed the whole story Amazon to see if they can replace it. The next day, they responded saying they will send a replacement watch by 2-day shipping, free of charge. The watch arrived at work today without issue. Thank you, Amazon!

Lessons learned:

I, like many other Chinese people, give money too much importance in my life. I got home on Tuesday, exhausted and stressed, mostly because "I lost money". While I was taking a shower (where many inspirations can take place), I realized, why should I let loss of money make me feel bad? I would give ten times that money and more to feel joy and ecstasy, so why not just feel it? I would not care one way or the other a couple months down the road, so why stress out so much now?

The experience also made me more sympathetic toward our receptionist, who had her wallet stolen out of her purse a month or so when she stepped out of the office, leaving her purse under her desk (they said there was a homeless person wandering around our floor that day). She had no cash and only lost her credit cards and driver's license, but still. I was disturbed by it but didn't think much about it afterwards. Now I know what she must've felt like.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

interesting article on immigration

I came across an eye-opening article on the "immigration" issue. Very well written to cover the complexities of the issue.

http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/research/rockridge/immigration

I have often felt that mainstream discussions on the topic do not delve into the issue deeply enough (then again, most people don't discuss, they just state their opinions), and the proposed "solutions" are weak and short-sighted. This article is a breath of fresh air and says things I have felt but didn't have the words to express.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

on the subject of kongs

I finally watched King Kong last weekend. Needless to say, it was a great movie and deserves all the praise it received. Naomi Watts did a fantastic job conveying feelings and emotions without words. She really makes the movie what it is. I loved those moments of silent communication between her and Kong, and I felt that these scenes were cut too short so the interjecting action scenes were jarring and took away from it. Although I'm sure if they were cut longer, the action types would complain that they're boring. Rocky told me that some people complained about the first hour or so being too slow. I felt that they were just right and not slow at all, actually quite an excellent intro. However this perception may have been colored by the fact that I watched Mrs. Henderson Presents, another wonderful movie, earlier that day. MHP showed a lot of theater life and also had a wispy blond girl in a major role, so there were a lot of similarities between the pacing of this movie and the beginning of King Kong.

The one thing I felt uncomfortable with was Jack Black's character towards the end. In the beginning, when he goes to great lengths to get the boat to leave New York and avoid the authorities, you believe that he is doing this out of passion for a great film. Towards the end, you find that these "great lengths" include letting his friends die (and being so callous as to say they died "for passion", twice) so he can bring back Kong and put him on stage. By the end I had lost all my sympathy for Carl Denham, which is why when he says "It was beauty killed the beast" in the very last line in the film, I didn't believe him. Not that I didn't believe the girl causes Kong's eventual downfall, but that Carl Denham as portrayed in this movie was too shallow and self-serving to have said such a thing, unless it was meant to take responsibility off him and make himself feel better. After all, it is partly, if not mostly, because of him that Kong wreaked havoc on NYC.

Anyway, these were my thoughts on the movie and I wanted to get it off my chest.

Friday, May 05, 2006

sliding to persistence

I can't believe I hardly posted for the last month. I have been pretty stressed out at work since my manager's gone, so I've had to handle logistics all by my lonesome (with some help from the boss and salespeople). Normally it wouldn't be too bad, except that we had a slew of quality issues with one product and a few other headaches that came up. Things are slowing down a bit now, and they hired a new logistics manager, so I have someone else to take the burden off my shoulders.

I did manage to learn a few things about myself through this ordeal though. I learned that whenever something goes wrong, if it is related to my responsibilities, I have a tendency to think it's my fault, so I start criticizing myself and seeing ways in which I could've prevented the situation from happening but didn't. I end up putting much more stress on myself than necessary. Through the Michael teachings I learned that my biggest fear is the fear of vulnerability (and, in turn, fear of criticism), which they call the "chief feature" of Arrogance. People who have a fear of vulnerability can either manifest it as 1. what we typically think of as arrogance, 2. shyness (as in, "I think I'm so important that people watch my every move and is always ready to criticize, so I watch everything I say and do"), and/or 3. fear of making mistakes ("I need to do everything perfectly so that no one can criticize me"). I manifest 2 & 3 for the most part.

Another good thing that came out of this is that I was so stressed out that it bled into my life outside of work. As a result, I desperately sought ways to relieve the stress. I went back to Abraham's teachings, which I had read but did not continue to follow through. Abraham is an entity not unlike Michael, but with different teachings channeled through Esther and Jerry Hicks. Their teachings focus on conscious creation, particularly how the emotions are like a guidance system that tell you if you are aligned with your desires or out of alignment. On their emotional scale, love and joy are at the top and fear/depression are at the bottom. Just re-reading their book
The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent helped me feel better, since I was reminded that the stress/frustration/overwhelment I was feeling were obviously not in alignment with my desire of job satisfaction and peace of mind. I will probably find some time to do more of the exercises from their books this weekend.

That and I was driven to meditating regularly. I knew meditation would help calm me down, and it's something I've wanted to do on a regular basis but had a hard time focusing. I recently got a meditation CD with a bunch of 8-minute meditations by Bodhipaksa. The guy is Scottish (Bodhipaksa is his Buddhist name) and so has a lovely accent in the guided meditation. I've been meditating everyday for a week now, and I love the short meditations since I don't have much time to meditate in the mornings. I feel ready to move on to longer meditations now, so I'm getting his other meditation CD's as well.

So that's all for now. I have lots of blogging material, since I transcribed my Michael channeling session. I just love talking about Michael's teachings. In addition, my aunt recently met a new boyfriend under extraordinary synchronicities, and I love stories like this so I may post something about it.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

quote of the day

We have yet to see a more powerfully marketed, unquestioningly-purchased and ultimately pointless product on your planet. This is not to say that value is not ultimately extracted from the experience, but we have seen more detours in personal and global evolution due to the freely-accepted oppression of religion than from any other context in your history.

- Michael on religion, as channeled by Troy Trolley