*cough* *cough* *cough*

I hate being sick. That's what I've been doing the last four days or so. Walking around made me dizzy and weak, but lying down made my head hurt from being pressed against the pillow (not kidding). So I slept and sat on the couch and played Final Fantasy Tactics Advance when I felt a little better. I feel almost normal now except for a hacking cough that keeps waking me up at night. Conversations with God says that every experience you call into your life serves some purpose, so I wondered about the purpose of this one, as I always wonder what possible purpose a little fever or cold could serve. Okay, I can see that if you're stressed or making yourself too busy, getting sick would be your body's way of slowing you down and saying, "hey, enough of this." However, as I'm out of school with no car and no job, neither of those apply to me (and never really did, except when I had to write that term paper in high school). In any case, I've come to the conclusion that:

1) Once again, I take simple joy in feeling healthy and normal, as I'm reminded every time I get sick.

2) My mother does a lot more for the rest of my family does for her, myself included (she took care of me when she wasn't working).

3) I need to shift my focus from what I don't have (job, relationship, etc) to what I do have, right here, right now. I was worried about the slowness of my job search; I felt frustrated because I couldn't see my friends or go anywhere since I can't drive my dad's new manual Nissan (he's in Taiwan at the moment and can't teach me). But one day I was sitting on my bed and staring (because lying down gave me a headache and focusing too long on a book or my GBA made me nauseous) when I realized that this situation I am in now is perfect for bonding with my mother. With my dad and brother gone temporarily, we have some peace in the house and time together with none of the frustrations those two bring. She'll be working for most of tomorrow, but I can also help make this house (esp. my room) a bit more livable by cleaning things up, bathing my dog and taking him for a walk. Anyway, I won't bore you with the details. I think I've been getting clues that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, but I didn't make a conscious connection until that moment. It was a feeling of "I get it now," like something clicking into place, and by extention, I felt that the job thing and everything else will come when the time comes. Well, neato, and I guess tomorrow's cleaning day.