a harrowing experience

I had my Amazon purchase stolen on Tuesday. It was a $100 Invicta pilot watch I was buying on behalf of Rocky, my boyfriend, because he doesn't like to use credit cards. I was having it delivered to my office building, thinking it would be safer because I can get it right away. Later I realized that since I used free saver shipping, it was being delivered by USPS to the mailbox downstairs rather than directly to our office like DHL/Fedex/UPS does. However I didn't think too much about it.

So come Tuesday, I didn't get a package after our receptionist picked up the mail from downstairs. I asked her if she saw any packages, and she didn't. I checked the tracking info, and it said that the package was delivered that morning at 10 a.m. Okay, now I was worried. I went downstairs with the receptionist, and we found an Amazon box with my name on it by the trashcan outside the mail room. It was opened and the contents were gone. There were parking attendants and an occasional security guard walking around the area, but no one saw anything. I had to stay after work (this was around 6 pm) for 20 minutes so the security guard lady could fill out a report for building management. I was so upset I could hardly keep from crying while she was filling out the report. Rocky was not so upset about the lost money but more disturbed by what kind of person who could've opened someone else's package and taken what was in it. I was upset about the money, but I kept remembering something Michael (or perhaps it was another book) said, that whatever is stolen from you (money or whatever) wants to return to you, since it is still your part of your energy (and everything is energy). My understanding is that this energy can return to you in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't necessarily mean that the thief will return the watch to me. Anyway, I took comfort in the fact that $100 is really not that much money, and it wouldn't even matter that much a few months down the road.

Anyway, that night I went home and emailed the whole story Amazon to see if they can replace it. The next day, they responded saying they will send a replacement watch by 2-day shipping, free of charge. The watch arrived at work today without issue. Thank you, Amazon!

Lessons learned:

I, like many other Chinese people, give money too much importance in my life. I got home on Tuesday, exhausted and stressed, mostly because "I lost money". While I was taking a shower (where many inspirations can take place), I realized, why should I let loss of money make me feel bad? I would give ten times that money and more to feel joy and ecstasy, so why not just feel it? I would not care one way or the other a couple months down the road, so why stress out so much now?

The experience also made me more sympathetic toward our receptionist, who had her wallet stolen out of her purse a month or so when she stepped out of the office, leaving her purse under her desk (they said there was a homeless person wandering around our floor that day). She had no cash and only lost her credit cards and driver's license, but still. I was disturbed by it but didn't think much about it afterwards. Now I know what she must've felt like.

interesting article on immigration

I came across an eye-opening article on the "immigration" issue. Very well written to cover the complexities of the issue.

http://www.rockridgeinstitute.org/research/rockridge/immigration

I have often felt that mainstream discussions on the topic do not delve into the issue deeply enough (then again, most people don't discuss, they just state their opinions), and the proposed "solutions" are weak and short-sighted. This article is a breath of fresh air and says things I have felt but didn't have the words to express.

on the subject of kongs

I finally watched King Kong last weekend. Needless to say, it was a great movie and deserves all the praise it received. Naomi Watts did a fantastic job conveying feelings and emotions without words. She really makes the movie what it is. I loved those moments of silent communication between her and Kong, and I felt that these scenes were cut too short so the interjecting action scenes were jarring and took away from it. Although I'm sure if they were cut longer, the action types would complain that they're boring. Rocky told me that some people complained about the first hour or so being too slow. I felt that they were just right and not slow at all, actually quite an excellent intro. However this perception may have been colored by the fact that I watched Mrs. Henderson Presents, another wonderful movie, earlier that day. MHP showed a lot of theater life and also had a wispy blond girl in a major role, so there were a lot of similarities between the pacing of this movie and the beginning of King Kong.

The one thing I felt uncomfortable with was Jack Black's character towards the end. In the beginning, when he goes to great lengths to get the boat to leave New York and avoid the authorities, you believe that he is doing this out of passion for a great film. Towards the end, you find that these "great lengths" include letting his friends die (and being so callous as to say they died "for passion", twice) so he can bring back Kong and put him on stage. By the end I had lost all my sympathy for Carl Denham, which is why when he says "It was beauty killed the beast" in the very last line in the film, I didn't believe him. Not that I didn't believe the girl causes Kong's eventual downfall, but that Carl Denham as portrayed in this movie was too shallow and self-serving to have said such a thing, unless it was meant to take responsibility off him and make himself feel better. After all, it is partly, if not mostly, because of him that Kong wreaked havoc on NYC.

Anyway, these were my thoughts on the movie and I wanted to get it off my chest.

sliding to persistence

I can't believe I hardly posted for the last month. I have been pretty stressed out at work since my manager's gone, so I've had to handle logistics all by my lonesome (with some help from the boss and salespeople). Normally it wouldn't be too bad, except that we had a slew of quality issues with one product and a few other headaches that came up. Things are slowing down a bit now, and they hired a new logistics manager, so I have someone else to take the burden off my shoulders.

I did manage to learn a few things about myself through this ordeal though. I learned that whenever something goes wrong, if it is related to my responsibilities, I have a tendency to think it's my fault, so I start criticizing myself and seeing ways in which I could've prevented the situation from happening but didn't. I end up putting much more stress on myself than necessary. Through the Michael teachings I learned that my biggest fear is the fear of vulnerability (and, in turn, fear of criticism), which they call the "chief feature" of Arrogance. People who have a fear of vulnerability can either manifest it as 1. what we typically think of as arrogance, 2. shyness (as in, "I think I'm so important that people watch my every move and is always ready to criticize, so I watch everything I say and do"), and/or 3. fear of making mistakes ("I need to do everything perfectly so that no one can criticize me"). I manifest 2 & 3 for the most part.

Another good thing that came out of this is that I was so stressed out that it bled into my life outside of work. As a result, I desperately sought ways to relieve the stress. I went back to Abraham's teachings, which I had read but did not continue to follow through. Abraham is an entity not unlike Michael, but with different teachings channeled through Esther and Jerry Hicks. Their teachings focus on conscious creation, particularly how the emotions are like a guidance system that tell you if you are aligned with your desires or out of alignment. On their emotional scale, love and joy are at the top and fear/depression are at the bottom. Just re-reading their book The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent helped me feel better, since I was reminded that the stress/frustration/overwhelment I was feeling were obviously not in alignment with my desire of job satisfaction and peace of mind. I will probably find some time to do more of the exercises from their books this weekend.

That and I was driven to meditating regularly. I knew meditation would help calm me down, and it's something I've wanted to do on a regular basis but had a hard time focusing. I recently got a meditation CD with a bunch of 8-minute meditations by Bodhipaksa. The guy is Scottish (Bodhipaksa is his Buddhist name) and so has a lovely accent in the guided meditation. I've been meditating everyday for a week now, and I love the short meditations since I don't have much time to meditate in the mornings. I feel ready to move on to longer meditations now, so I'm getting his other meditation CD's as well.

So that's all for now. I have lots of blogging material, since I transcribed my Michael channeling session. I just love talking about Michael's teachings. In addition, my aunt recently met a new boyfriend under extraordinary synchronicities, and I love stories like this so I may post something about it.

macguyver!

This is an awesome commercial:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5340902491202374013